Only way to escape
by LainellaFay
Summary: Once you've joined, there is no such thing as leaving. Kirihara found that out one day, and realised that maybe, he shouldn't have joined in the first place. But it was already too late.


**Disclaimer: I do not own PoT.**

Why do I keep writing more stories?!

* * *

**Only way to escape**

Death was the only way to escape.

Kirihara Akaya was sick and done with the damn rules. He had joined on a whim, and never considered the consequences of his actions.

Now, he was stuck, in a place where he could never escape from.

Unless, he sought death.

.~.

_"I want to quit,"_ _Kirihara had announced one day. He heard laughter similar to those of hyenas and looked up, only to see Marui and Niou laughing hysterically. _

_Yukimura eyed him with his blue eyes, only to smirk a second later. "Quit?"_

_"Yes, I want to quit," Kirihara repeated._

_"I'm afraid that you don't know what you're talking about Kirihara," Yukimura said, his voice dangerous, just like how it always was whenever they went out to do their missions._

_"Did you forget your pledge to Rikkaidai on the day that you joined?" Yanagi asked, from Yukimura's side. _

_"Pledge?" Kirihara muttered, trying to rack his brains for that little piece of memory that he had forgotten. _

_"Your pledge to Rikkaidai, Kirihara." _

_"…" _

_Kirihara had no idea, he didn't really remember what happened when he joined. He was probably drunk, or high, he didn't know which. Just at that moment, when he set his eyes on the seven boys, he had the sudden urge to join them. And he did. _

_"Shall we refresh your memory, Kirihara?" He heard a sneer. _

_Kirihara stood unmoving._

_"The law of Rikkaidai: Losing is unforgivable. We must always win."_

_That was the law. He remembered that. Why were they telling him the law?_

_"Renji, repeat what he said on that day clearly to him," Sanada said sternly. _

_Yanagi nodded, and recited, "I, Kirihara Akaya, pledge to serve Rikkaidai for life. To follow the law of Rikkaidai, to never lose. In order to do so, there is no option such as quitting. I will serve until my last breath is taken away from me."_

_"That was your pledge Kirihara," Yukimura smiled. _

_"Do you still plan on quitting?" Yukimura leant forwards, so that his face was only an inch away from Kirihara's. It was the face of a murderer, a cold-blooded murderer._

_Kirihara swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing, and slowly shook his head. _

_"Good," Yukimura straightened up, his previous expression disappeared, and was replaced with a mask of innocence, one that could fool old grannies down the road. With that, Yukimura turned to leave, Sanada and Yanagi tailing behind him. _

_Kirihara stayed rooted, and heard footsteps approaching him. Niou stood in front of him, Marui on Kirihara's right, Yagyuu on his left, and Kirihara guessed that Jackal was probably behind him. Basically, he was surrounded. _

_"What was that?" Niou asked, his voice dripping with venom. _

_"Did you really think that you could quit?" Yagyuu questioned, pushing his glasses up with his right hand. _

_"How naïve…" Marui sneered. _

_"You ought to reflect on your actions Kirihara," Jackal said, and the four departed, leaving Kirihara in the middle of the dark alleyway. It was a scene similar to what movies Kirihara loved. The protagonist in the middle of an alleyway, depressed, deep in thought and soaked to the bone by the rain. All Kirihara needed was some rain. _

.~.

He could always run.

No, they would only catch him.

Kirihara's mind flashed back to some of their missions and frowned. He'd be skewered and minced if he ran and got caught.

There was no other option. Stay and survive, or die and be free in the afterworld – if there was one. He wouldn't be living either way.

He glanced to his right, and spotted a penknife on the table top. Picking it up, he played with it for a few moments before making up his mind.

Maybe hell would be better than where he was now.

Lifting up his left hand, Kirihara looked at the pale skin of his wrist and at the blade of the penknife. He didn't flinch, wince, or blink when the blade cut his skin. He watched the red liquid flow down his wrist and wonders if he was going to die from that.

Probably not.

Kirihara was about to make the cut deeper when the door to his room swung open. He whipped his head around at the sudden intrusion. None of his family members bothered him when he was in his room, and he was certain that his mother was in the kitchen cooking, so why…?

At the doorway stood Yanagi.

"W-what are-" Kirihara stammered.

"What are you doing here, is what you were going to say, right?" The brown haired male interrupted him.

"How did-"

"How did you get in here, is what you were going to say, right?"

Kirihara didn't even bother uttering another word after that. Although, his hands were trembling and the penknife slipped from his fingers, landing on the wooden tiles in front of him.

"Seiichi, I was right, there was a 94% chance that he was going to choose death," Yanagi said, his eyes never leaving Kirihara.

Yukimura emerged from behind Yanagi and flashed a cold smile at Kirihara. "I see…you wanted to leave that badly, didn't you?"

"What foolishness!" Kirihara couldn't see Sanada, but he sure could hear him.

"Yukimura! I took care of his mother in the kitchen," Kirihara heard a yell from somewhere in the apartment and his eyes widened.

"What did you do to my mum?!" He demanded.

"Oh, nothing much, just the usual…" Niou squeezed past Yukimura and Yanagi, who were blocking the entrance, into Kirihara's bedroom. In his left hand was a baseball bat, the one that was leaning against the wall near Kirihara's front door. It was dripping with blood.

Kirihara felt his life leave his body as he stared at the bloody bat. The blood on his wrist couldn't compare to the amount of blood on the bat. If Niou was saying the usual, then, there was no hope for Kirihara's mother to be alive. His mother was dead. And it was all his fault. His fault for foolishly joining such a dangerous group, for wanting to quit. For everything.

Kirihara didn't cry. He just sat there, on the floor, staring and staring.

Yukimura opened his mouth to speak when Marui came bounding into the room, again like Niou, shoving past Yukimura and Yanagi, holding a bowl of spaghetti and was busy stuffing his mouth with it. Kirihara knew in an instant, that it was the lunch that his mother was cooking just before she died.

"Niou! Try this! It's really good! Kirihara's mother sure can cook~" Marui exclaimed, after swallowing, because speaking with your mouth full was just plain rude.

Niou rolled his eyes at him and replied, "You only think of food everywhere we go don't you? And shut up, Yukimura's angry."

"Indeed, Yukimura is angry," Yukimura said in a low voice from behind Marui, making the red head jump a few feet in the air, and run, hiding behind Jackal's back.

Kirihara only stared. It was rare to see them act so…normal. They normally had this mask over their faces, masks of deception. Cold, angry, and plain evil.

"Are you going to kill me?" He asked, looking straight at Yukimura.

And Yukimura laughed.

"Do you want to die so badly?" Yukimura questioned, after he calmed down.

Did he? Did Kirihara really want to die? All he wanted to do was be free from all the damn rules, to just leave the group. And the only way for him to do that, was by dying.

"…"

Niou walked forwards and tossed the baseball bat somewhere in the room, he squatted down in front of Kirihara and stared into the younger boy's face. "You know what we do to deserters don't we?"

Kirihara slowly shook his head.

Niou stood up and laughed, walking out of the room.

What was so funny?

"Do you remember your missions, Kirihara?" Sanada asked.

This time, Kirihara nodded.

"Who did you think those people were?" Yanagi questioned.

Things started to click into place. The reason why the people he targeted always seemed to know about Rikkaidai, the reason why they always screamed at him to forgive them. Now he knew.

"Y-you mean they were…" Kirihara trailed off. It was pretty self-explanatory already.

"Yeah, the ones you killed. They were the deserters," Yukimura smirked. "Do you finally understand your situation?"

Kirihara did not reply.

"Oh," Yukimura continued, "if you're even thinking of trying to end your own life…"

"Don't bother," Sanada finished.

Kirihara was suddenly lifted off the ground. Jackal and Yagyuu stood on either side of him, each holding an arm, and he was carried out to his living room, where Niou and Marui were casually lounging on the sofa. The bowl of spaghetti was gone from Marui's hands, and he was now chewing on a piece of gum. Yukimura, Sanada and Yanagi stood while the rest sat – Kirihara on the floor.

"We never let deserters suicide. Never." All of them said in sync. "We do that task for them."

What was the point of bringing him all the way to the living room? Just to hear them say that together? Rikkaidai never really made much sense to him anyways.

"So…do you still want to quit?" Yukimura asked that question yet again.

Why did they keep asking him? If they were going to kill him, couldn't they just get it done and over with? Why did they seem so hung up about him staying?

And then, Kirihara started to remember the times they spent together. The jokes, laughter, and the missions – even though Kirihara hated them. They had gotten close over the years.

Did they not want him to leave?

Kirihara stared wide-eyed at the older boys. Did they really not want him to leave? Were they tearing themselves apart on the inside trying hard not to think about having to kill him?

…Why?

They were ruthless, cold-blooded murderers. They could kill without even batting an eyelid. So why…why was it different with him?

Another question came up in Kirihara's mind.

Did he really want to leave?

He squeezed his eyes shut. Yes, he did! He wanted to have freedom. He didn't want to be chained up by the rules of Rikkaidai. He wanted to see the other side of the world, a world without murdering. A world where he could be normal again.

"Yukimura," Kirihara mumbled. "Do you not want to kill me?"

The whole room burst out into laughter. Kirihara blinked.

"Did you seriously think that we can't kill you?" Marui choked out. Then, he stopped laughing and stared at Kirihara coldly. "Because trust me, we can."

"I'll ask you for the last time. Do you still want to quit?" Yukimura asked, after his laughter ceased.

Kirihara's words seemed to be stuck in his throat.

"Yes, or no. Just two options, pick one."

And Kirihara closed his eyes.

Then, he nodded.

"I see…" He heard Yukimura softly say. "Sanada, go ahead," Yukimura commanded, and turned to leave the apartment.

.~.

Kirihara looked at the rest as they left the room, wide grins on their faces. He felt light, lighter than ever as he stood there, on the rug in the living room.

"That guy really thought that we couldn't kill him! Oh my god, I'm choking!" Marui exclaimed.

"Must be a nutcase. Can't believe we didn't realize it until now," Niou replied, shaking his head.

Their voices got softer and softer as they got further away.

Kirihara had thought wrong.

It didn't matter who. They could kill anyone without a second thought. Even if they had been friends for years. A deserter was a deserter. And that was what Kirihara was, the moment he had uttered the words, "I want to quit."

He looked down at his feet, or, at his body lying on the rug, blood staining the blue rug, a gun in his hand. He knew what their purpose was. To stage it as a suicide.

The last thing Kirihara heard from them was Jackal saying, "Marui, you have spaghetti sauce on your lip."

And Kirihara thought about how scary they were.

.~.

_"This is Tenipuri News. Today, at 5pm, a body of a male and a female was found in the apartment block, 531 Yellow Kings. It is said to be a suicide, due to a gun found in the hand of the male, identified as Kirihara Akaya (17). The other victim was identified as his mother, Kirihara Aiko (48). They were discovered by the sister/daughter of the deceased and the police are still investigating on the reason for the suicide due to the lack of a suicide note. One possible reason was guilt, for killing his mother, and therefore, Kirihara Akaya chose to commit suicide, but that is still under investigation. _

_We will come back to this when we find out more. Next up-"_

.~.

Yukimura eyed the new potential recruit. His hair was black, like Kirihara's, and his eyes were green, also like Kirihara's. However, unlike the messy curls that resembled seaweed on Kirihara's head, the new guy had his hair spiked up. His ears had multiple piercings all over and a bored look was etched on his face.

Ah, it was common. He was the type who joined to look for something fun in their boring life.

Yukimura smiled. The kind to become great allies.

Folding his arms across his chest, Yukimura said, "Once you've joined, there is no such thing as leaving. Do you still want to join?"

The new guy looked at Yukimura in the eye, his green eyes void of life, and replied without wavering, "Yes."

And Yukimura smiled.

* * *

**A/N: News reports probably don't say those kinds of details...I'm pretty sure of it. Anyways, I'm sure everyone knows who the new guy is. Yukimura is very OOC lol.  
Do you think it's a story that can be built on? Or should I just leave it as a one-shot? **

**Leave me a review please :)**


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